What can your organization do to create more equality
for men and women? The first step to creating equality is understanding
the different strengths and styles that different genders bring
to the work table. Oftentimes men and women use different processes
for decision making and leadership. Here are some common ways that
men and women differ:
1. Attitude towards tasks vs. relationships. Women tend to be
more relationship oriented and accomplish tasks by building relationships
first. They then know who to ask and are comfortable asking others
to get things done. Men tend to be more task oriented and go straight
to the task. They build their relationships when they are in the
task or project.
2. Way of Processing Information. When women have to make a decision
they will often process and look at options out loud while men
tend to process internally until they come up with a solution.
Women often think that the man is being unresponsive to suggestions
because of this and men often think that women are looking for
approval when they process out loud or don't know what they are
doing. Some men think that a woman's way of processing is a sign
of weakness.
3. Leadership Style. Because women are more relationship oriented,
they tend to lead by consensus. Men tend to be more hierarchical
and include only the people closest to them at their level in the
decision making process when they think it is necessary.
4. Communication Styles. In non-verbal behavior women will nod
their head to show that they are listening. Men leave the conversation
thinking that a head nod means agreement and will be surprised
to find out that the woman didn't agree at all. When a woman is
speaking to a man and he does not say anything and stays in neutral
body language to show that he is listening, a woman will interpret
that as the man being bored or not understanding what she is saying.
This can lead the woman to become very uncomfortable and repeat
what she is saying or ask the man each time if he understands what
she is saying. The man then interprets that as insecurity, or talking
to much and which then lead him to think she is not assertive or
confident to be a leader. Women will actually use more direct eye
contact in conversation to create relationship and connection while
many men take that as a challenge to their power or position. Women
will also approach a man from the front while men often approach
from the side at an angle, which is how each of them tends to stand
or sit when talking to others. Men interpret the face to face as
too personal, or aggressive and women will interpret the talking
side to side as though he is not being upfront or even hiding something
from her.
5. Talk time. Men take up more time and space at meetings, while
women try to make sure there is more equality in the room. Despite
stereotypes to the contrary studies have shown that men talk more
then women. Men interrupt women and talk over them much more that
women interrupt men. All of this can lead to the type of miscommunication
based on assumptions of why member of the other sex are using certain
verbal and non-verbal behaviors. These miscommunications can result
in team breakdown, people not listening to each other and loss
of good ideas.
How different styles lead to workplace
disparity
While most women are in the workforce full time, there is still bias
amongst certain men in leadership roles that stop women from moving ahead. This
bias can include the following ideas:
1. That there is only one style or way to lead and that is the
more hierarchical one.
2. That most women can't be leaders because they are not "strategic."
3. Because many of these men are married to women who work in
the home, they have a harder time conceiving of women running organizations,
and therefore are not as objective when making hiring and promotion
decisions.
4. There is an unconscious belief that women are not in the workforce
on a permanent basis and don't really want to move up or stay.
Strategies to Bridge Gender Differences and Value Diverse Styles
If you grasp the importance of effective gender communications
and gender equality in the workplace, then start making a difference
today using the following gender communication strategies.
1. Take these facts with a grain of salt. It's important not to
use this information to stereotype all men or all women. Of course
not everyone fits these generalizations. These are cultural norms
based on research that showed that a large majority of men and
women display some of these characteristics. Some of these behaviors
are based on acculturation and learning and some of them are based
on how our brains work.
2. Stay aware. Both men and women need to be aware of each others
styles of communication both verbal and non-verbal in order to
avoid miscommunication and work better together.
3. Be aware of unconscious stereotypes and biases and be open
to breaking past them in order to leverage each others strengths.
4. Recognize that many different styles of leadership can be effective.
5. Men, be aware of how much time and space in meetings or group
interaction. Make room for the contributions of women. When asked
for a decision by a women or for your opinion if you are an internal
processor, let her know you are in process of thinking about it
so she knows she is heard.
6. Women, get comfortable asserting more space for yourself. When
dealing with men in decision making, try to stop yourself from
processing out loud. If you do process out loud, let the man know
that this is a process you use for decision making and you are
not asking him what to do.
7. Finally, Get Information. Learn about male and female styles
of communication and be able to use both. You need both to deal
with the complexity and diversity of situations in today's world
both personally and professionally. Don't be afraid to recognize
differences. Once you do that it will be easier to have open discussions
in order to find similarities and use those differences to achieve
greater goals together.
Simma Lieberman works with people and organizations to create environments
where people can do their best work. She specializes in diversity,
gender communications, life-work balance and stress, and acquiring
and retaining new customers.
Call Simma at 510.527.0700 or Email simma@simmalieberman.com
Visit her website at www.simmalieberman.com
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