Editor's Pick
In the workplace, and in fact in life, we encounter many situations where we don’t speak up and say what’s really going on. We keep our heads down, keep quiet and keep the peace. But at what cost? Many years ago, as I was sitting in a management meeting stretching into its 2nd hour (and with no apparent end in sight) I had one of those “wake up” moments when I looked around the room and saw my own disengagement and disinterest reflected in the body language of everyone else sitting around the boardroom table. “What the heck are we doing here?” I thought. The chairperson was monotonously reading through a list of technical issues plaguing one of our projects. It was a waste of time and resources, with no logical reason to demand the presence of the entire management team. The situation could likely have been handled through emails or a brief one on one discussion. This meeting was costing the company in lost productivity. Yet not one of us in the room said anything. Since that meeting, I’ve built a business around understanding human behaviour, particularly in the workplace. What I’ve discovered is that while most people will agree that bare-face lying and flagrant falsehoods are not okay, workplace “white lies” are tolerated in abundance, with most of us are attributing their existence to the cost of living in a “conflict-free” work environment. Staying quiet in meetings –This may simply be a certain personality style at work, however, by taking the time to engage a more participatory facilitation approach, you might be able to tap a new source of input and identify any hidden problems. Nodding in agreement –The vast majority of us will admit to acting interested at some point when we really aren’t paying attention. This insidious social habit kills collaboration. Acid test the situation by asking people specifically what they like and don’t like about what you’re saying. Make it safe for them to get in the game and engage. Never outwardly critical – No one likes everything or everyone all of the time. Unless we’re completely shut down and going through the motions, we’re going to have some kind of critical reaction at some point, whether it’s obvious or not. Set the tone by making differences okay and then build on the best of both positions. Ensure the focus is off the individual and squarely on the problem or situation. Overtly positive – Most departments have an unofficial cheerleader in the group, and while this position is helpful for keeping employee morale up much of the time, it can also be a creativity killer. The key here is creating a safe environment for them to share anything that’s not working 100%. Challenging authority – While continual challenges to your authority would be exhausting and demoralizing - chalk the odd occasion up to an engaged employee. Outwardly, stand up for your position, but in moderation, take challenges as a positive sign that your people are awake and feisty. Out of left field ideas – No solution is wrong. One of the biggest challenges managers face today is inspiring creativity in their teams. If ideas are critiqued coming out of the gate, employees quickly learn to keep quiet. Help the rest of your team employ more of a “3 year old mind” approach by encouraging them to stop trying to appear clever or intelligent and just blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. Kids have some of the best ideas, simply because they’re not preoccupied with looking stupid.
But what effect does harmonizing have on engagement levels in an organization? Does a harmonious team produce more, show more initiative, or work harder? When we look a little closer, we often discover that underneath the drive for harmony lies something far more insidious: conflict avoidance. On the surface, we may accept and understand that differences of opinion are a fact of life, but in reality, the amount of energy we put into dodging potential conflict threatens team continuity and creates a breeding ground for missed deadlines, costly errors and quality control issues.
Why do we have such a strong compulsion towards harmony? Most of us don’t have a clue about how to manage conflict or keep it from escalating to a point where it becomes personal, so we simply avoid it. We have to work with the same people every day, after all. In addition, we live in a culture that for the most part supports conflict avoidance, placing a disproportionately large amount of value on being happy and getting along.
By placing such emphasis on harmony, we become susceptible to collusion, appeasement and conformity, all of which stifle creative or innovative thinking - which any manager knows are necessary for success.
Take a quick inventory of your team using the guidelines below.
Signs that employees might be avoiding conflict:
Global agreement to ideas - Everything you say is gold and greeted with a great big “yes!” To shake this pattern loose, model critical thinking in front of staff by reviewing your own ideas. If you think there are holes in your proposals, point them out and ask for solutions. Make it safe to disagree.
Signs that employees are fully engaged:
Assertive – This is an indicator that your people are not asleep or going through the motions. You may need to help channel their verbal skills towards more “non-violent communication” techniques, but determine the salient points of what they’re saying and then anchor these points within the collaboration of the group.
Passionate – In an average organization, only 25% go above and beyond the status quo. Passion is a rare commodity these days. Cultivate it. Channel it in a proactive direction if necessary, but never quash it.
One of the most common management foibles is to use team harmony as a measurement of success. But it is the harmony achieved by honest and open communication that is extremely energizing and creates innovative solutions to conflicts. Don’t let your own team – and your bottom line - become diminished by conflict avoidance.
Christina Sestan is the founder of Citrus Coaching Solutions, a cutting-edge human potential company that works with corporations and individuals to help achieve groundbreaking results in the areas of productivity/profitability, performance, team cohesion, effective communication, and job satisfaction. Christina works with individual and corporate clients in Canada, the US, Asia and Europe and is based in Vancouver, BC.
You can reach Christina and Citrus Coaching at (604) 264-0224, christina@citruscoaching.com, or http://www.citruscoaching.com/
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